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Monday, March 5, 2012

Wearing Cappuccino

Spent the weekend researching Paleo & Primal.  What am I doing right?  What am I doing wrong?  What are others doing? etc etc etc  We have the big cruise coming up and I am trying to acquaint myself with the topics.  Atkins I know - these others are the newbies.

In ONE post an author had 15 rules for following a Paleo lifestyle.  Rule #1 said "A Paleo diet should be ... moderate in animal protein..." etc... followed by Rule #3 "... eat generous amounts of animal protein..."


So I read on... dug further.  I have read a few eBooks about the science and about the results.. but it is very hard to dig out the REAL fundamentals.  I saw "sweet potatoes" & "grapes" on some of the food lists.

NUH-HUH!!!!!  What???  (mouth is watering.. blood sugar is shooting up!)

I found one diet plan for full meals for breakfast, lunch, & dinner, including 2 snacks.  The meals were gourmet and sounded delicious, but my boss won't buy kitchen appliances that allow me to produce the quality of food required for that menu!  Awesome menu, but totally not practical for a working woman.  On the flip side, I also cannot squat in the middle of the office lobby and build a quick fire to roast my catch of the day.  I have evolved.  There were high fat paleo blogs, low fat paleo blogs, there were paleo "zone" diets, I did NOT, however, see any Paleo Vegetarian diets, but I know they exist because of this image I found while googling.

I LOVE the way my friend Kim put it when I asked her about the differences.  She said, "It's like Atkins for hippies."  Ahhhhh... THAT I could understand.  The whole "caveman" thing is too gritty & sweaty for this fashionable child of the 70s.  "Hippy" is a concept I can grasp - organic ... flowers ... natural ... flowers ... raw ... flowers ... peace ... love ... & flowers.


So.. off I toddle hoping to find a key.  I have had no sugar since December 27th (that I am aware of).  I have had no starch either.  HOWEVER, something is stopping my loss.  I am teetering between 5 pounds up and down, and CANNOT seem to break into the next "10 lb" nest.

So tweaking is in order:
1.  No more dairy.  -- OK OK... no more EXCEPT in my coffee.  As a compromise, I mixed equal parts unsweetened SO coconut milk & dairy cream.  Baby steps.  BUT absolutely no cheese!  BAD cheese!

2.  No more splenda.  Sigh.  Good bye little tabs.  You were so easy to carry in my purse, but alas, you have been replaced with two bottles of Sweet Leaf liquid stevia -- Hazelnut for coffee & Lemon for tea.  Sigh. (We're gonna need a bigger boat... I mean purse!)

3.  6AM - move that jiggly body.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... NOt that!!!!  ANYTHING but tha-hut!!!  I hate exercise.  I am rebellious in that manner.  Abhor, hate, despise, grrrrrrr

"Find something that you enjoyeee" -- shopping???  Walking down the beach?? (means I can quit my job?)
"Use the right music!!" -- Mood music? -- Death Metal??? (that is my mood when exercising)
"Work out with a friend!" -- all my friends are like me, thus why we are friends! Woohoo!
"Just walk around the block!" -- with a big stick and pepper spray?  I dun think so.

SO... I joined a pseudo gym.  Again, baby steps.  But I'm the toughest hydrolic pumpalator you have ever seen.  I give those little white bars the best push, pull, and shove of their existence.  THEN I think "Slow Burn" from Fred Hahn and I go SLOW as possible... within the 30 seconds before the lady says "Change Stations Now".

So there you have it... Paleo in THREE steps.  Eating low carb isn't a step -- that is a "given".  The rest of the items on the list are things I have said before -- but this time I mean it.


Typical day:
5:00am - coffee & paper (actually internet news)
5:45am - off to Curves for Women!  Curvy Women!  (actually all the "over 50" set is there that early)
6:40am - home, shower, and go to work
8:30am - pick up 2 scrambled eggs & 3 strips of bacon waiting for me at the deli on my way up to my office! (Love my deli lady!)
WORK WORK WORK ... WORK some more...
10:30am - growling tummy is ignored
11:30 - LUNCH (meat and something green -- today was a pork rib & eggplant ratatouille)
3:30pm - growling tummy enticed with a  protein "cappuccino"

OH.. almost forgot the title of this blog -- "Wearing Cappuccino" -- W- E - L - L ... I went into the office kitchen and made me a perfect cup of the BariWise drink mix (containing aspartame!! gasp!!).  I was heading out the door at a fast pace and suddenly realize that the paper cup was FREAKIN' HOT!!! My hands disengaged before the brain could stop them.  I poured it down the front of my shirt and all over the floor.  Good thing for me I was wearing a leopard print top because the brown splotches didn't show, only the red, peeling blisters on my chest from the hot beverage. hahaha. just kidding - it wasn't that hot.  Anyway... now I smell like the inside of a very sweet Starbucks.  For the first 10 minutes it was kind of funny and pleasant.  NOW, an hour later.. I am nauseous at the smell!  ugh.

Photo of self in leopard print -- hahaha  NOT!  My hair is not that long, and my name's not Kim.

Now it is an hour before I go home from "WORK WORK WORK".  And I have a stocked fridge waiting for me.  ..... cabbage, chicken wings, & perhaps some blueberries... maybe.  Who knows... maybe I'll watch a movie on the treadmill.

No.  Don't think so.


Ailsauk said...

Ha ha love it good luck xx

Anne H said...

Atkins for Hippies!
Love it.
I've also heard it called "PRATKINS!"
I cut back on cheese... but still have an ounce or so a week... I do like the buttah and de cream in da coffee. That part might not change for me!
You are doing great!

Janessa said...

Hey Mrs. G!
I am cutting out dairy as well...you know what is great in coffee? Hemp Milk! Its a little nutty, smooth, but not heavy like soy. Try it sometime...they carry it at randalls :-)